


The Misadventures of Maggie and Lith

by JengaManga (orphan_account)



Category: cpk17
Genre: Bar fights, Drinking, Drunk idiots, Halloween, My work - Freeform, Oc trash, Other, Random characters from not related universes, Violence, Vulgar Language, because I have no one else other than these two freaks, idc if you ship it tho, no romance between them, often reflects my humor and my life, personal work, they swear a lot, ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-01-26 15:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12560112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/JengaManga
Summary: So I've been drawing these two dorks for a while and I really wanted to have them in a comic of some sort, I just don't know how to start that up so I'm writing a fic instead \(._.)/Mature for swears n suggestive themes





	1. Hole In The Wall

**Author's Note:**

> Refs  
> Lith: http://cpk17.tumblr.com/post/166566703829/lithium-lith-so-the-element-lithium-burns-pink
> 
> Maggie (was originally named after me bc she's my persona):http://cpk17.tumblr.com/post/166428507564/new-sona-hoping-to-keep-her-a-permanent-one

••••

“MAGGIE! MAGGIEMAGGIEMAGGIEMAGGIE!” Lith shouted, floating over the little sleeping brunette. 

“Hngmmm fuck off,” Maggie huffed, literally blowing Lith away. 

“Hey!” Lith protested, chubby hands on her hips as she squinted at the little bitch in yellow. 

She suddenly had an idea! An evil, incredibly awful, horrid idea. She floated to the kitchen, getting a cup of ice cold water, and floated back. 

Lith lifted up the bottom part of Maggie’s poncho and sweater, revealing her bare stomach and her bra. She smirked evilly before pouring the water all over her. 

“AHHHHH FUCKING BASTARD!! WHY ME!? DOES GOD HATE MEEEEEEEE!?!” Maggie cried, rolling off the couch. 

Lith could only laugh her ass off, clutching her non-existent stomach. 

“You little BITCH!” Maggie yelled, sprinting full speed at Lith. 

“Oh shet” Lith gulped, before floating up, causing Maggie to run straight into the wall, bashing her head through it. 

“MOTHERFUCK!” Maggie cried out again, trying to pull herself out of the wall.  
“IM FUCKING STUCK, WHAT THE HELL!?” She whined, trying even more to pull herself out.  
Standing against the wall and pushing on her hands. But nothing would work. 

While laughing so hard she was snorting, Lith grabbed Maggie by the hips and yanked her out at the same time, setting her free.  
They flew backwards with Maggie landing on top of Lith, chest to back. Without warning, Maggie grabbed Lith by the neck and started pounding her head into the floor. 

“Don't. Do. That. Shit. Ever. Again,” Maggie seethed, each hit matching up with each syllable. 

“You know you can't hurt me, right? In fact how can you even touch me to begin with? I'm a gas, and gases can only be contained within something or float away, it's not like you can just-” Lith was shut up with a finger down her throat. 

“Shut the fuck up, fuck your science, asshole,” Maggie bellowed.


	2. The Squirrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok only chp2 and shits insane

Maggie and Lith were walking through the park, Maggie having to hold Lith by her tail so she doesn't float away.   
Maggie stood still suddenly like a fucking prairie dog, mumbling: squirrel 

“What the hell, dude?” Lith whined, looking in the direction in which Maggie was looking in. There was a little brown squirrel, hopping around all happy and peaceful. 

“Maggie no,” Lith protested, but Maggie pulled out a knife anyways and started to chase it. 

“MAGGIE NO. DON'T RUN WITH KNIVES AND LEAVE THE POOR SQUIRREL ALONE!” Lith yelled, unfortunately being dragged along. 

The squirrel ran up the tree, but oh no. Maggie was going to get this little fucker. She jumped high and grabbed onto a tree branch, knife in her mouth. 

“Maggie no,” Lith whined. It was useless now. Maggie was on a mission. And it was to kill this fucking squirrel. 

Maggie climbed the tree higher and higher until she cornered the little bastard.

“Gotcha now, motherfucker,” she evilly smirked, raising the knife in her hand. 

This squirrel was NOT going down without a fight. It jumped onto Maggie's face, latching it's little diseased claws into her skin. Maggie screamed as she let go of both the knife and Lith, falling backwards. 

“MAGGIE NO! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Lith cried, chasing after her. 

Thankfully, most of the branches help break Maggie’s fall, but it was still painful as hell. That still didn't stop Maggie, however. 

Once her and the squirrel reached the ground, she grabbed the little bastard by the scruff and snapped its neck. It was at this time that Lith had finally reached the bottom. Maggie, covered in scrapes, bruises, and blood, holding a dead squirrel with its neck broken. 

“I got it,” Maggie smiled tiredly before collapsing back on the ground. 

“Why though…” Lith groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“Because all squirrels are the spawn of the devil… and I'm kinda hungry,” Maggie panted, still in some sort of pain. 

“Maggie… just, no,” Lith sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maggie always has a little knife in her pocket the little fucking murderer


	3. Uno but with shots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Maggie n Lith ft. Ana and Orange because I don't have any other characters.   
> (Ana and Orange are from my art bloog on tumblr but long story short: Orange is short stupid ginger and Ana is a literal stripper ((that's her job)))

“Ha! Take a shot, bitch!” Maggie laughed, pointing in Lith’s face when she threw down that yellow +2 in Uno. 

“Syke!” Lith countered, pinning a red +2. 

“Ooooooh we stackin!” Ana cheered, throwing down another +2. 

“Oh fuck, do I even have- HA YES I DO, BOI!” Orange yelled, slapping at green +2 down. 

“Fuck you BITCHES!” Maggie placed down another +2. 

“Oh my god who ever loses this is gonna be wasted,” Lith giggled. No one wants to take that many shots. 

Ana and Orange put down more +2 unevently, surprisingly. Bitches so drunk they can't even make words and mouth noises.

Maggie looked at her hand only to see that she had a yellow reverse, 5, and 7, a blue skip, and three red 6, 1, 3. 

“No,” she whispered. 8 shots. 

Everyone else soon realized her fate, soon whooping and cheering loudly and heavily. We’re talking a chorus (even if it was just the 4 of them) of wildly drunk toddlers screaming at the top of their lungs. 

Ana snickered as she slammed the shot glass onto the table and poured in straight ass cheap mango vodka. 

“I'm so recording this,” Lith pulled out Maggie’s phone, aiming the camera at said owner of said phone. Maggie just looked at the glass with disappointing eyes. 

“I'm ready to die,” Maggie huffed out before downing the shot with Ana quickly refilling it. 

“One!”

“Two!”

“Three!”

The burn was really setting in and she had to take a quick breather. 

“Four!”

“Five!”

Almost there, but not really. 

“Six!”

“Seven!”

One more…. 

“EIGHT!” The three girls cheered as Maggie downed the last shot. 

She was leaning back so hard that she fell right on her back and just sort of… laid there. 

The three were concerned at first before Maggie sat back up, looking at them with droopy eyes.   
“Game over, I can't take this shit,” she admitted. 

Slowly, over the course of 3 hours, Maggie had progressively more and more drunk. It's like Girls Gone Wild but with a yellow poncho. Actually no, now Maggie just took all her tops off and was now completely shirtless. No bra, nothing. 

She strutted around the house, swaying her hips and dancing with one of the girls whenever she passed them. 

“People always say that my music's loud!” Maggie shouted, arm around Lith’s shoulder while Lith did the same thing. 

“SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKIN’,” Lith screamed, off key as hell. 

“Neighburs complin sayn tur it donn,” Maggie slurred, swaying back and forth. 

“SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKIN’,” Lith still shouted. 

“Hatrs don like we go da-YAWN!” Maggie, ofc, yawned, letting go of Lith to flop down on the couch, back down. 

“SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKIN’,” Lith continued, completely unaware that her duet partner had passed out drunk on the couch with her tit LITERALLY hanging out. 

Lith continued this dumb solo as the song continued, swaying her hips in a really stupid way. 

While all of this was happening, Ana was recording everything and posting it all on Snapchat like it was everyone's fucking business. Orange had made her way into the kitchen, sitting on the counter. She was dipping a banana into a glass of tequila, then taking bites. She mumbly sang, “banana shot” over and over again the whole time.

By 3 am, Lith had passed out on top of Maggie (not like that you sickos), sitting on her stomach while she leaned on the couch. Ana fell asleep against the couch, not on it, but against it. Orange was just BARELY sober enough to find her way into a bedroom. It was probably her’s, but it was actually Ana’s.   
She got a thong caught around her ankle while shuffling around on the dirty floor before passing out on the bed. 

The next morning they skipped class because they were all fucking hungover and Maggie was still vomiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How drunk does this sound?


	4. HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just went trick or treating and I'm tired af but I wanted to get this written down and posted so I can pass out in peace (also rip I have a headache and probably a cold)

“Bruh fuckin keep up!” Lith shouted, floating over to another house. 

Maggie trotted behind in a little pikachu outfit, complete with ears, a yellow tutu and a cute little felt tail. Meanwhile Lith was sporting a sheet, pretending to be a ghost. Rip-off. 

“I'm sorry, but I actually have fucking legs you cunt,” Maggie growled, stepping onto the porch. 

They did the whole routine of yelling ‘trick-or-treat’ and collecting candy. Maggie had regained that signature maniac energy and was now running through the neighborhood, tripping on sidewalk cracks and stumbling on stairs. 

Lith laughed right in her face in a loud, obnoxious “HA”. Every other house, Maggie stuttered to get words out and became increasingly frustrated. 

“Hippy Holleen. Wait I-i uh,” she would soon just stop talking if it got bad. 

“Merry Christmas! Wait, wrong holiday,” luckily everyone was kind enough and laughed with her, wishing them both a safe trip. 

It was now down to 30F and Maggie was shivering in such a bare costume. Lith, of course, laughed at her like the little bitch that she is. 

Lith happily flew back to their little house, Maggie dragging her feet and panting far behind. 

“Geez, you humans are really weak,” Lith pointed out, giggling. 

“Fuck you,” Maggie huffed, stomping up the stairs of the porch and opening the front door. 

The walked in and Maggie immediately plopped down on the couch, spreading out, and trying to catch her breath. Lith sat next her and opened her bag of loot. It weighed about a good 20lbs. Maybe even more. 

“Whatcha get?” Lith asked, digging through the bag for the candy she didn't like to put into a bowl. 

“We went to the same damn houses,” Maggie groaned but opened her bag as well, doing the same. 

Maggie picked out some mint chocolate and loudly gagged. 

“Who ever makes these should be hanged,” she tossed the candy to Lith. 

“Oooo, my favorite!” Lith cheered as she tossed back some Almond Joy. 

“My favorite,” Maggie smirked smuggly, reaching in her bag as Lith did. 

The both pulled out some Whoopers. 

“EEEWWWWW,” the both cried, throwing them into the bowl as they were symbols of the devil.

They giggles with each other and finally settled down with some candy and watching some creepy movies. Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd, and Cat in the Hat.


	5. IT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actual saw IT finally and tbh I wasn't that scared??? But I still wanted to write this. Also the crazy lady thing is completely random

Maggie took shaky steps as she and Lith walked out of the theater. Lith was still stuffing her face with the now stale popcorn while Maggie shivered. You couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from fear. 

“What's wrong Maggie? Cold?” Lith asked, looking at her human. 

“N-No,” she denied, teeth clattering. 

“Wait… You're scared!” Lith laughed, pointing at Maggie.  
“You're scared of IT!” She howled. 

“Shut up!” Maggie cried, stomping off to the bus stop. 

Lith crept behind her, the fact that she didn't touch the ground helping her sinister plan. She got as close to Maggie as possible and let out a deep, animalistic growl, poking her sides.  
Maggie screamed loudly with the pitch of a stereotypical girl getting killed in a horror movie. Everyone looked over to them, thinking that one of them was being attacked. Then they saw that Lith was laughing her ass off while Maggie clutched onto the bus stop pole like it was the only thing keeping them alive, and they soon continued on with their lives. 

“I fucking hate you,” Maggie mumbled, standing up slowly as the bus started to slow down at the stop. 

They picked a seat that was in a relatively remote area. The bus itself was ghosted, save the presumed homeless bat man (no relation to the D.C. Comics) taking a nap and some old snake lady eating… cat food? We're not gonna ask. 

Maggie took the window seat, but didn't dare to look out, still fearing it. Lith looked at Maggie and could see that she was genuinely terrified. But that didn't mean she would go unteased. 

“Would you like your boat back, Maggie?” Lith whispered in her ear. It also didn't help that Maggie rhymed with Georgie. 

“You can take that boat and fucking sink,” Maggie spat out, looking at Lith with evil eyes. But that didn't stop Lith; the little fucker. 

“W-Without your boat?” She kept jesting, but soon regretted it when Maggie punched her square in her non existent nose. 

“Shut the hell up you jizz bitch!” She yelled. 

The old snake lady heard this and turned around, suddenly ranting about how the devil was corrupting the young and that they needed to go to church to wash themselves with holy water. Maggie and Lith kept silent until they were finally at their stop, listening to her rambling for a mere 10 minutes. As they walked by, however, Maggie whispered to her: 

“You know they perform satanic rituals in this bus on Sundays, right?” She then hopped off the bus as soon as she could before the last screeched as if she was being stabbed to death. 

The lady was soon kicked off the bus, but slithered in the opposite direction of what way they were heading. Probably to church to pray.  
Maggie had no idea if they're was really rituals going on on the bus, she was just tired of that screechy voice. 

Maggie snickered to herself, watching the lady slither away. When she she turned forward again, Lith was standing right in front of her fucking face. 

“We all float down here,” she creepily smiled. 

Maggie screamed before running full speed far away from Lith. But Lith simply trailed behind her, repeating over and over and over again: 

“You'll float, too!”  
The fucking cunt.


	6. MORE REFS BC WHY THE FUCK NOT

Since it's so easy to sketch and doodle these two there's _a lot_ of them   
Here's one of many:   
http://cpk17.tumblr.com/post/166957058209/random-doodles-mostly-maggie-and-lith?is_related_post=1

But they can be found all over my tumblr if you're bothered to go through it all


	7. Bar fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really wanted a bar fight scene. Could be longer, but these are supposed to really short stories

FEISTY BY JHAMEEL

\----  
‘ _I say ah, are you coming back to me?  
It's a disatrophe’_

Maggie swayed her hips to the beat, poncho and sweater gone and forgotten as she danced in her tank top.

_Like come on, are you really feeling apathy_

Lith simply two stepped, popping out her hips with each move. She wasn't too far away from Maggie, either. Their hips bumped into each other sometimes.

_I got the moves, make you come on running after me_

Maggie then grabbed her knees and started to shake that ass, making Lith bust out into laughter.

_Cause baby, oh my, well it's unfair  
Looking like that, make a gentleman stare_

Maggie turned around and saw the cutie in a little cocktail dress and high heels. She strutted right up to her, arms wrapping around her shoulders.

“Hey beautiful, care for a dance?” Maggie offered with a smolder. The woman just blushed, speechless. Was she not into girls? 

“Excuse me!?” A gruff voice called from behind her. 

Maggie looked back exasperated, then quickly looked up at a bulky man with the muscles of a wrestler.  
“That's my girlfriend!” He accused, pointing a finger in Maggie's face.  
Maggie brushed the hand away, taking her hands off the girl. 

“Get that damn finger out of my face,” Maggie was more than willing to walk away, but this guy was just about to pop an artery. 

“Stay away from her!” He gave Maggie a quick shove, which is when Lith rushed in to try to stop what she knew what was about to happen. 

“I said- GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!” Maggie bared her fangs and pounced on the man, claws out. 

She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and back handed him several times until he pushed her off him, landing a punch to her gut. Maggie winced in pain before standing up slowly. 

“Big mistake,” she growled, grabbing a bar stool behind her and fucking hitting the guy over the head with it.  
He fell to the ground, holding his head and groaning in pain.  
Maggie turned to the girl who was in even more shock, staring at her boyfriend. 

“Since I went through all this trouble,” Maggie began only to pull the girl into a deep, sensual kiss. The girl even kissed back. 

Maggie had to sadly pull away because the manager grabbed her from behind and started to drag her out the door. 

“Call me!” Maggie shouted to her before she was tossed right out onto the wet street, Lith soon followed. 

Lith fell on her butt then shook her fists at the manager  
“Ah, fuck this place anyways!” She argued, trying to sound tough. 

“Let's get out of here,” Maggie groaned, waitin for Lith to stand up. Or, float up. 

“Was she worth it?” Lith questioned, both curious and annoyed.

“Oh hell yes,” Maggie smiled, but was stopped in her tracks by the familiar sound of heels tapping on the street. 

She turned and there was the girl, holding a napkin. She ran into Maggie’s arms, kissing her deeply. She shoved the napkin into Maggie's hand and pulled away with a smirk. 

“You can't call me if you don't have my number,” she giggled and stepped back, walking back into the club. 

Maggie was now the one who was speechless, looking at the paper in her hands. She opened the napkin and saw a number scribbled in the napkin with the name 'Dawn' on top, ripped a bit from the force of the pen. Maggie looked up at Lith’s jaw drop expression. 

“Oh it was SO fucking worth it,” she smirked, stuffing the napkin into her bra.  
She looped her arm with Lith's, who was stuttering in shock. 

“How-, I… what?” 

_Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my  
Feisty!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Dawn, the girl, return? Maybe  
> ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿


	8. Who are Maggie and Lith?

Their little universe is full of all creatures imaginable. You name it bitch we have it. Also, no one brings up how physics and general science doesn't really apply to this universe, but it's my story and I say fuck science and making sense. Why make sense when everything can be magical and just BE. Maggie and Lith are the main characters, not many side characters are mentioned. 

Maggie   
Female   
Probably mid 20s   
Human? She looks human but she's kinda immortal so not so human? 

She looks innocent and cute, but she's actually a deranged psychopath with a very vulgar mouth. She likes to get drunk and carries a 6in knife in her fucking pocket. Her mortal enemy are squirrels (who she believes are spawns on the devil sent to earth to annoy and pester just her)  
Lith is annoyed with her urge to kill and her gore, but Maggie deals with her temper tantrums and bullshit so she lets it slide (it's still REALLY gross). They have to live near the woods so Maggie can dispose of her corpses. Usually by burning them.  
She likes   
Dawn  
Candy   
Murder, violence, blood and gore  
Anything edible (worms, random birds, sometimes flowers)  
She HATES   
Guns (they're loud and ruin the element of surprise)  
Mint chocolate   
Dandelions(they taste like chemicals and sadness)  
SQUIRRELS 

 

LITH   
Female  
Age:?????   
Smoke girl 

Her ember heart burns Lithium, making her pink. If her heart is extinguish, then she'll fucking die. The metal collar around her neck tell her body temp, like a thermometer. When she mad(very mad) she turns into a indescribably hot, hot pink fire and her collar glows red while her heart is a really really hot blue. Maggie is the only who can tolerate those temperatures. How they met and became friends is a mystery, Lith just sort of showed up and… stuck? To Maggie for about forever.   
She likes   
food (even if it necessary for her to eat)   
Music she can dance to  
Chocolate   
Spending time with Maggie and gets jealous when Maggie hangs with anyone else.   
She HATES   
being alone   
Whoppers (the candy not the burger)  
Cold fries   
DAWN

Dawn   
Female   
27   
Presumed human 

Not much info at this time but Maggie beat up her abusive bf at the time in a bar, made out with her, gave her her number, and they started dating. All that is known is that she's cute and pure but when it turns naughty OH BOY IS IT SEXY. She loves Maggie a lot but has a small rivalry with Lith for Maggie’s attention. This often results in small (physical) fights while Maggie's back is turned. This includes hot frying pans, ink pens, throwing each other out the window. Dawn cannot feel pain or is affected by things like being thrown out of the FUCKING WINDOW. Dawn knows and is pretty unfazed by Maggie's dark desires, as long as she doesn't have to pick up dead bodies of squirrels and other unnamable creatures.  
She likes   
Maggie   
Sexy cocktail dresses and heels   
Milkshakes   
Anime   
She HATES   
banjo   
Specism (racism but in this world it's species)   
Loud noises  
LITH (the stupid bitch)


End file.
